Raise your hand if you have never been through heartbreak, loss of any kind, illness, abuse, rejection, abandonment, etc. Can anyone out there in reader-land say they are completely hurt-free? Can you say that you have never been disappointed, let down, back-stabbed, etc.?
Every one of us has a story. If you have a pulse, then you have probably shed more than a few tears in your lifetime. Who hasn’t? I am not going to go into my story, again. You all know it. If you don’t, peruse my blog posts, read my book, subscribe to my newsletter. Today this is about you and your relationships.
I am going to be brutally honest. Saying you are too damaged to be present in a relationship is a cop out. Before you blow a gasket on me, I am no stranger to damaging events and people. It requires courage, will and consciousness of mind to move forward, heal and trust. To perpetuate the past, constantly remain in your history is no way to live. In fact, it is not living. It is dying a slow death. By allowing painful memories to consume you, you give power to nothing. Whatever it was only survives because you fuel it. You memorialize tragedy. You are addicted to the suffering, the pain, loneliness. You are happy here. It is your jail where no one is allowed behind the bars with you.
Why would you go on this way? It is safe. Cementing yourself into the past is comfortable. Better the pain you have already experienced than welcoming some new pain. By healing, loving and trusting, you’re open to new hurt. You are happy to be damaged. Part of you likes your little cell. It is home. Know this, oh broken one, do not claim to love anyone, not your parents, family, kids, friends, etc. You are unable to love because you loathe yourself. Until you can face yourself, accept how amazing you are and love yourself, you are incapable of being emotionally available for the people closest to you and you cannot possibly love them.
What a shame! You chose this life. You chose this journey. You even chose your pain. Stop playing the victim. It is weak. Put on your adult undies. Know your value. Know that you have gifts that we are all waiting for you to realize. By hiding in your cell, you deny the universe of your greatest gift: You!
If someone tells you they are too damaged to be in your life, believe them. That is what they believe. That person will continue to run away. They will deny their feelings and retreat to their comfort zone, their living Hell. There are parents who walk away from their kids; friendships that turn sour and potential love relationships that are never given a chance because one person claims damaged. The “Damaged Goods” excuse is a cop-out. As for the love relationships, know that, sadly, you are not their forever partner and you cannot fix them. You deserve better.
If you continue to attract “Damaged Goods”, write down a list of the characteristics of your soulmate and say them out loud. Put it in the universe and God’s hands all the while raise your vibration. Be happy, work on yourself. Like attracts like. Fun attracts fun. Happy and secure, trusting and loving attracts the same. When your light shines that bright, the darkened souls cannot take it for too long. They want their cell back. Let them go, and hang on to the bright lights in your world. And love like there’s no tomorrow, it’s the only way to live.
Know I love you all! Tell me what’s going on in your life. I want to hear from you.
Wishing you love, balance and peace.
Amore & Baci,
Just Steph
