The Friend Zone

One of my fav comedies stars Ryan Reynolds in “Just Friends.”  Very early in the movie Chris Brander, played by Reynolds, gets laughed out of a high school graduation party when the football team reads what he wrote in his best friend Jamie’s yearbook where he professes his love for her.  Chris wanted out of the friend zone.  A few years go by, and, as a slimmer, hot looking, music producer, Brander explains the friend zone to his colleague.  “If you want out of the friend zone, move your lunch to dinner and be sure to plant a big one on her lips, or you’ll stay in the friend zone forever.”  Sounds more like the Phantom Zone from “Superman.”  Once you are in “The Friend Zone” there’s no chance to get out unless some cosmic catastrophe releases you.

I love the friend zone.  My current life situation has afforded me ample opportunities to meet wonderful, new people.  I have also reconnected with old elementary and high school friends which you can read about in “At Home I am Just Steph.”  I am enjoying true friendships, both male and female.  I do love my girlfriends.  However, I think I have more testosterone than most women.  I prefer red over pink. Getting my hair and nails done are a necessary chore.  I raised four boys, and loved their sporting events. Boxing is my fav workout regimen.  Hitting someone in the ring is the most fun I could have in my workouts, while my pink clad girls are enjoying flywheel and yoga.

Men are easy.  They aren’t so sensitive.  They can take an F-bomb on the chin, and in the friends zone, all topics are fair game.  I love to get a male opinion on life topics.  I enjoy hearing what they have to say about their current relationships and getting advice on how to live my life fully.  In the last two months it has been the male friends I have made that have most influenced me, moved my heart and changed my perspective.  They have been insightful, loving and genuine.  There are no hidden agendas.  I’ve even lamented to a few of my male friends and they have generously given me a shoulder, encouraged me to hold my head up and be who I am, Just Steph. 

“The Friend Zone” is a safe place for me.  Comparing male friendships to casual female acquaintances (because my besties are more like sisters), I know my guy friends will have my back, instead of stabbing it.  They will be blunt and honest, instead of, pardon the pun, beating around the bush.  Guys don’t have the time or the thought process to gossip.   They would rather talk sports, politics or biz.  It’s a win-win.  

My only advice is to be sure the friend zone boundaries are clear. State the obvious and stand your ground.  Don’t cross “The Friend Zone” unless  there is some cosmic chemistry that unleashes you both, knowing full well it will be hard pressed to bring it back into the zone.

Tell me what’s going on in your life.  I want to hear from you.

Wishing you love, balance and peace!

Amore & Baci,

Just Steph