When I talk to my mom about anything in my life that causes me angst, she inevitably says, “you know too much!” She is referring to my ability to dissect and analyze situations, my feelings and where I see the people involved. And though she may be correct to some degree (I need to get out of my own head sometimes), I understand deep in my core that whatever discomfort I am feeling is my fault, problem and responsibility.
For most of my life, I blamed and gave credit to everyone, including God, for my state of being whether happy, sad, in pain, whatever. As my thinking evolved, I stopped pointing the finger. I realized what someone else thought, said or did was their perception. If my feelings got hurt, I knew it was my problem. However, I continued to blame God for what I believed I did not choose: my Poland Syndrome body, genetics, family, etc. Until one day, I had an epiphany. What if I did choose everything? God, The Universe is not one dimensional, contained. Free Will is an eternal gift. Ugh! I chose it all! Sorry, God!
My point is not to perpetuate or delve into the blame game. I want to bring to light something that is a side effect of blaming: suffering. We are addicted to suffering. People love to wallow in misery. They bitch and moan about what this person said, what they did, etc. Here’s a bit of news: you chose this! You have the free will to handle situations that either ensue, sustain or prolong suffering and drama.
You do not have to suffer unnecessarily. You are the captain of your ship. Don’t give anyone else the wheel. If you do let someone drive your boat, do not blame them for taking you to places you did not want to go. Not every situation is easy or cut and dry. I understand that. Good counsel with a trusted friend who prescribes to evolved thinking, taking a step back from the situation to understand your feelings as well as getting clarity on the reality of the events will help establish a course of action.
Recently I was dealing with a few issues that were not mine, but became part of my world for one reason or another. These were hurting my heart because my core values were being compromised and I did not want to hurt anybody. I took it to the mat, the yoga mat. What was revealed to me in my heart and later by my yogi was Love. Love and honor myself, and love the people in my world. I had nobody to blame for my feelings, except myself. I had free will to handle the situations with love knowing I could lose people. I loved myself and them. It was up to them to receive it as love or walk away. There was no need to prolong my internal suffering. I chose love, and I can put my head down at night knowing that.
Put on your big girl panties and big boy boxers. Grab hold of your own helm. Be true to yourself. Love yourself and those around you enough to do the next right thing. Stop blaming everyone and the stars for your angst. Start living your best misery-free life. It’s time to feel groovy!
Know I love you all! Tell me what’s going on in your life. I want to hear from you.
Wishing you love, balance and peace!
Amore & Baci,
Just Steph
