Everywhere I look on social media there are posts telling me to count my blessings, be grateful for every aspect of my life, the good, the bad, the ugly. When I tell a friend a problem with which I am dealing, she might say, well, thank God you are not sick. What? Are you f*#king kidding me?
A few months ago a friend approached me at the ballpark where our kids play. Her husband is suffering with stage four cancer. She described her emotional state and where she was in the grieving process. I hope you all know the stages of death and dying which apply to any loss: denial, bargaining, anger, depression and acceptance. I heard anger in her voice, to which she admitted. She proceeded to tell me she knows she should be grateful that her kids are well. I said, I am sorry friend, but f*#k that. Everyone, including God, knows you are grateful that you can put food on the table and you have a roof over your head. You are in crisis, survival mode. None of the good things right now outweigh the pain of your suffering. Accept it, feel it and live it.
She thanked me for giving her permission to feel what she was feeling at that moment. Today, I may be suffering the loss of a relationship. That loss for me may run so deep, I could actually have physical pain. At this moment, I cannot feel grateful that my car started. I may not even be happy to have woken up. It doesn’t mean I am not appreciative. I just don’t feel like it now.
The good in my life, at times, may not outweigh the bad. For me, it’s like saying, just because your partner showers you with gifts, it’s ok that they beat you up daily. It just doesn’t work that way. Life is not meant to be put on a scale and measured. It is meant to be lived, whatever that means for you today. If you actually feel and accept your current situation, you will work through it and emerge healthier on the other side. You will not have repressed feelings, grieving an event ten years after it happened. Deal with today right now. I promise, feeling grateful will come back.
Courageously dig deep, recognize your greatness, embrace your life and savor every aspect of life. Find your bliss and follow it.
Tell me what’s going on in your life. I want to hear from you.
Wishing you love, balance and peace.
Amore & Baci,
Just Steph
