Growing up Sicilian and Catholic, I learned very quickly not to be too happy. The dark days will be here soon enough. This concept was a reality in my years of domestication. My dad hitting it big over a fall weekend of football meant happy times, fine dining, trips to the mall. Hurry, get what you can. Next weekend it could all be gone and daddy would be asking for my piggy bank promising to refill it the next week. Besides Big Natty’s gambling roller coaster, the family focus was always on the negative and my faith taught me that suffering was the path to heaven.
Up until the last couple of months, I felt for sure I was on the fast track to eternal life dancing with the angels and St. Peter. From my seat all I could see was a lifetime battling myself, accepting every aspect of who I am, and trying to convince myself and those around me that I was more than an overweight girl with Poland’s Syndrome. Don’t get me wrong, I have experienced real life heartaches. However, these past few months have taught me that life is not a spectator sport.
In order to enjoy the game and win, I must participate. I am the coach, player and referee for my own experiences. I can call the shots, go for a field goal or throw a flag on the play. It is my decision every day to recognize my greatness, embrace life and savor every aspect of living. I can choose to get up out of the bed, put my feet on the ground and truly live, or I can stay in bed wallowing in the pain of yesterday and the fear of what may or may not happen tomorrow.
I now understand that following my bliss is a choice I must consciously make every day. Every day I dig deep to realize what fuels me, builds me up, gives me energy, satisfies my deepest desires and fulfills my calling in life so that I have light and love to give back to the people in my life, including all of you. I decide to surround myself with positive people with the same outlook. I will take the necessary risks sharing my heart. Being vulnerable is being real. I will embrace the loved that is shared with me and accept it because I am worth it.
Sharing my heart is part of my bliss. I am so thrilled to be back in your lives, and I want you in mine.
Tell me what’s going on in your life. I want to hear from you!
Wishing you love, balance and peace.
Amore & Baci,
Just Steph
Your writing is inspiring! I tried over the years to remove people who I felt were toxic to me. I managed for the most part to achieve this and have no regrets. Although it took me many, many years to finally have the courage to do it. I am so happy you are doing well and one of these days we WILL get together.
Thanks, Val! I’ve been on the fast learning track! The school of hard knocks for Just Steph! Chat soon, love!