Put up your dukes, let’s get down to it. Does life for me always have to be a fight? With my birthday just having passed, I look back not only over this last year, but over my life. As a young child I fought to keep it together when I was treated terribly, picked last for teams, and mocked. As an adolescent, I stayed close to those friends that kept me safe. In my twenties and beyond, I battled to be respected, accepted and appreciated. I isolated myself from situations that would possibly cause me to feel rejected. Essentially, I rejected myself before someone else swooped in and did it for me.
My closest friends know I love to be in the mix. I love meeting new people. In my last blog, I revealed how at one point I wanted to end the pain within and contemplated jumping into 285 traffic. This is so contrary to my spirit. I love life. I love the ultimate crack up. I want to laugh everyday. Coming to terms with myself has been a war zone. I think one of the biggest reasons I have finally come to terms with who I am is because I am so tired. Fighting takes a lot of energy, especially the battle inside. I found myself working so hard to feel validated, it wore me out.
The best part of loving myself is I have so much energy to love the people around me. I tell my friends before hanging up that I love them without worrying if they will say it back. I go home to Boston and tell my old friends how much I love them. I am not worried if they take it the wrong way, I have done my part to spread the love I have inside. Is there pain in my life, of course! No one is exempt from life’s situations, but it is not a battle. I accept people as they are, where they are. Why? Because I can, and it’s more fun to love and laugh than to duke it out. I’ll save my fighting for the boxing ring. So, hit me with your best shot. I’m armed with charm.
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Wishing you love, balance and peace!
Amore & Baci (hugs and kisses),