I Am Pre-judging the Apple, Again!

Written December 2013

Photo from Dec 4, 2013

I just went back and re-read the chapter in my book called One Bad Apple Don’t Spoil the Whole Bunch, Steph. Old habits die hard. It’s so easy to share with strangers.  I can hand out my book to anyone knowing most likely, I may never talk with them again, or they will not become part of my inner circle.

After reading, I thought, am I cray cray to let everyone in on my deepest fears. I find myself doing the same thing right now, putting perfectly beautiful apples in the rotten pile.  I am missing out on a chance to truly experience life.  There are people that want to be part of my world and I keep them at arms length to protect myself from losing them in case they don’t like what they see.

I did this with my publicist.  She waited patiently for me to open up to her.  According to Lisa Marr, it took me forty two days to spill my guts.  As we network and meet new people, I sometimes turn to Lisa and say something like these ladies said I was an inspiration to them and they think I am beautiful.  As only Lisa Marr could, she looks me in the eye and says, “What’s not to love? When are you going to start believing it yourself?”

560912_424663760937264_1638859560_n    581507_3719490180952_1892284271_n

It’s sad because the apples in which I have a vested interest are not only perfect, they seem to think I am a pretty fabulous apple as well.  I plan on mustering up the courage I need to participate in authentic relationships. I anticipate enjoying the freedom to love and be loved by all the perfect apples I would normally toss aside pretending they are like the rotten ones from years past.  Once I cast fear out of my heart, there is so much room to love.  I am ready to live.

Tell me what’s going on in your life.  I want to hear from you.

Wishing you love, balance and peace.

Amore & Baci (love & kisses),

Just Steph


Leave a Reply