A few years back I was using St. Francis de Sales’ book, “Introduction to the Devout Life” for meditation. The first topic, from which consequently I could not advance, was pondering on my own life. The article encouraged thanking God for creating me, breathing life into me, allowing me to exist. Well, I thought what’s the big deal. Why should I thank God? What was so great about me? Is the world any better with me around? What if I didn’t exist. Maybe everyone would be better for it. Was I a burden? Did I make that much of a difference. I mean, who really cares if I am here or not?
I brought these thoughts to my priest. Here’s what he said, “that is the most stupid thing God has ever heard!” I started to laugh (excuse my sick humor). No matter what he said, I couldn’t shake this thought. What value am I to God and to the people around me?
Does anyone else think about this stuff? Am I alone in wondering “why the Hell am I here?” Do I serve a purpose? Why is this even important to me? My reasons are two-fold.
I never considered myself worth it. As a young person, I never felt I was worth the effort for Prince Charming to come rescue me from my dreaded self. I was not pretty enough, smart enough and whole enough that anyone should make an effort. As I managed a house and four kids, I put everyone’s needs before my own. I denied myself basic needs unnecessarily.
Also, I have this desire to make a difference. There is something inside me that yearns to influence people and society. I want to make a positive impact on the people in my path. I want them to know I love them unconditionally. I wish to dig into anyone’s heart and find out what makes them tick. I don’t know why, but this is my motivation for most everything I do.
So here I am on my birthday revisiting why God willed me into being. Although I no longer go to the place where I am not worth God’s or anyone else’s effort, I do long to make a difference with you and the world. Risking sounding mushy: I really do love the people in my life, and there’s room for more. So when I say at the end of each blog “tell me what’s going on in your life,” I mean it.
So I say to myself today, “Happy Birthday, Just Steph. God Loves you and so do others.”
Tell me what’s going on in your life. I want to hear from you!
Wishing you love, balance and peace!
Amore & Baci,
Just Steph
Happy Birthday pretty girl! You make MY life bettaaaaahhh so your day is like a gift to ME! So thank YOU and I ❤ U!!
Love you, girl! You are a gift! Thanks so much!
Happy Birthday Steph! May Your gift be that you realize how much you are loved and respected for your honesty and strength!
Gigi
Sent from my iPhone
Thank you, so much. You are a beautiful person! It means so much to me.
Happy Day Steph 🙂 🙂
Thanks, lovey…You are fab. What a blessing you are in my life.